Huge Tracts of Land!!

Signs of A Super Dad: A man with a child’s book in his hand.

There are a few major steps in life. Things like graduating high school, graduating college, getting that first “real” job. My family and I are about to delve into the next big step: Buying a house. Our original plans had us saving money for another year or maybe two, but since there is now an 8,000 tax credit incentive to buy a house we just figured we couldn’t pass it by. Eight grand is a lot and is worth pushing our plans ahead. Plus, let us not forget we are in a buyers market. The housing market has tanked and prices are way lower than a year ago. I am sure things will turn around but who knows when. It could be another year or maybe five. I get a feeling things will start turning around by next summer and housing prices will begin to rise. I think striking within the next six to ten months is a good idea. Of course, at this point I have completely been bitten by the home ownership bug (well not really owning since you don’t “really” own it), so that might be clouding my judgment.

My wife and I have been combing the internet for housing information. A lot of information needs to be digested in a short period of time. The tax credit is for can only be claimed for people who purchased a house before November. In our research I have discovered, well not really “discovered” per se since I am sure this was taught to me sometime in school, but more relearned just how big a racket the mortgage business is. For instance, over 30 years paying on a home mortgage you really pay almost 3 times more then the original price of the house. Most of you probably already realize this, but this is quite the shocker to me. It is no wonder this country’s economy went to crap after the housing market fell through. Tripling an investment over a 30 year period is pretty nice. I really need to get into this whole mortgage business, knowing all I know about mortgages and all, which is less than nothing. I could do well, don’t you think?

But, you really can’t think about it like that. It is not as if you can wait 30 years to raise that money. Well, probably more like 10, but I am sick and tired of living in cramped apartments with no yard, the same furniture we had since college and a kitchen that barely fits one. Plus what if I felt like taking out this wall next to me? Well the landlord sure in hell wouldn’t just let me. With house I just have to deal with the wife, which now that I think about is a little more difficult. I want a pool table. I want to sit outside on the patio during the summer. Sit out their and just look at my small little yard. Not think about anything, just relax. I want to go outside and have my kids play in the yard instead of a parking lot. I want grass.

I want the ability to use high powered tools that I have no business playing with. I want to use those tools to build a finished basement that’s never finished. I want build a wrap around deck that falls apart, just to have me try it again. Because even though that deck might look like crap, I still built that. Having a house is about having pride that you have really reached adulthood. At least that’s what it feels like to me. Yes I have no doubt the house bug has bit me and I am excited!

Even though my excitement is growing exponentially I am still grounded. On the internet you can find mortgage calculators. They tell you what you can afford with your current salary and debt. Most of them have giving us a similar amount that we aren’t going to use. My wife and I have decided to go much lower then what those amounts tell us. It’s just smart fiscal policy.

And if you really think about it, owning your first house is like having your first kid. There’s always seem to be a “better” time, but what is “better”? You’re always going to have issues you have to deal with, waiting just changes them. Is putting it off till later just a way to put off something you‘re to scared to commit too?

Well thanks for reading.

One in a Million

Signs of a Super Dad: A super dad sweats with his kids not about them.


About 15 years ago, I did something amazing that with another million tries could never been done again. From 50 yards away, I launched a snowball into the window of a moving school bus. You know those bus windows aren’t more then 2 x 2 feet. I would equate this to throwing a baseball from center field and hitting the catcher in the face; most major league players can’t do that.

My best friend once threw a pair of swimming goggles across the entire length of a pool at the perfect angle to miss the diving board and hit my sister in the face. Again, something he could never do again with a million tries.

While on the golf course, I once witnessed a complete stranger chip a ball out of the woods that bounced off the tree in front of him, and then ricocheted off the tree behind him, only to bounce onto the green and into the hole.

We all have seen that guy during a NBA half time show sink a full court shot to win a million dollars.

All these examples have something in common; they are feats that happen by wishful accident. (Well, my best friend didn’t really mean to hit my sister in the face, I think.) We all see these types of things. Those goofy surprises that makes everyone in the room stand up and go “Ohhh!?” I really enjoy these wishful accidents. It’s just one of those cool things in life. They are pleasant insignificant accomplishments that you will remember for the rest of your life. I don’t remember my exact age when I threw that snow ball (I think 15, but it could have been 14) but I can picture the scene in my mind like it was yesterday.

These accidents are different then say Big Ben hitting Santonio in the back of the end zone to win the Super Bowl. They have practiced that throw maybe a thousand times. It is the woman I saw a couple of months ago toss volleyball over her head just to have it go into a basketball hoop, completely by mistake. Tossing a toy across the room to have to bounce twice on the computer desk and end up snuggly into a bin. These wishful accidents are like little life presents. When they happen we should really pause a moment and take it all in, you don’t know when you will get another.

I am going to deviate from the norm and end this blog with some random thoughts that wouldn’t fill up a whole blog posting, or it might but I don’t feel like making one:

I really need to go grocery shopping. I just fed my child a lunch of Triscuits, a hand full of grapes on their last days, and a very spotty banana. Of course he didn’t seem to mind, but I didn’t feel too super dad about it.

I have to remember to make reservations for Valentines Day. You know being a stay-at-home dad you really get the short end of the stick sometimes. Not only are you switching gender norms doing what old society has deemed “womanly work”, but you still keep all your “manly” duties. I.e. I have to make the reservations.

The end is in sight for our credit debt. The day we finally pay that off will be a great day. And on that note, there is a very good chance my family will be in our first house by this time next year.

I find my son being laugh out loud funny more and more. He just does some really goofy stuff. What’s even funnier is he is doing it to make us laugh. It also looks to me that my son may have some social anxiety issues when he gets older. This might just be my over active radar for psychological issues talking, cause he is really shy. He has a very hard time warming up to other kids his age. Hopefully he will grow out of it once his siblings get older. If not, no problems.

I have begun training for a ½ marathon, again. My buddy and I wanted to participate in one last year, but I got injured. I could run up to 8 miles, but the IT bands in my legs just started to hurt so bad I couldn’t run anymore. Hopefully with proper shoes and more stretching this year will be different.

I eat much, much too much sugar. I also need to stop making cookies. I eat the damn things in a day or two. There is a plate of no-bakes sitting on top of the microwave as a type this. They are beckoning me. Tempting me. I can feel their little eyes boring into the back of my skull. “Eat Me! Let me make sweet love to your tongue!” I would be a horrible crack addict.

Blue Reflection

Signs of a Super Dad: A super dad stays in shape. Not just to set an example to his children, but just to be able to keep up with them.


I have let my blog posts slide a little lately and I am disappointed with that. I chalk it up to a minor case of the post holiday blues. You have gotten all your presents, seen all your family, and now things are just back to normal. This year my post holiday blues were delayed till now due to the fact the fricken Pittsburgh Steelers won the Super Bowl. Just let me add it happened to be one of the most exciting games ever played! I am elated they won, but now what? Not only are the holidays over but football is over as well; I don’t know what is worse. It is easy to see how one could feel a little down after all the excitement has quieted. So, the Super Dad is a little blue. When the Super Dad is blue he likes to wander in his own delicious subconscious while listening to music. You get the esteemed pleasure of reading what I found.

BUT! Before I begin the tale of this juicy head trip let me share with you a very pleasant discovery. It has been years since discovering new music and not surprisingly it’s from a band originating from the 90’s: Portishead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PnNrtUTwa4

Video is a little creepy, but check them out.
I have a theory that an individual’s musical tastes are born in early high school. Perhaps I could blog about that in the future.

So while listening to the eclectic mess that is my music collection, I come to the realization that my musical tastes are difficult to explain. I have heard it described as suffocating, a big headache, angry, but by far the most interesting description is, “music you turn on that you want to bleed to”. Interesting as well as disturbing, but what is even more interesting is whom it originated from. This quote is from a professor who taught my Abnormal Psychology class in college. Odd? Yes. Surprising? Not after I share this story.

My Abnormal Psychology professor was easily the most entertaining teacher I have ever had. I only had him for half a semester for two classes, but he was thoroughly enjoyable. Notice I write “half” because he passed away midway through. He wasn’t an older gentleman, being barely middle aged. The man suffered from anorexia, which is extremely odd for men of that age group. It is believed complications from this condition are what killed him. Very sad, a man who was well liked by his students, who had reached one of the highest levels of professional achievement, could slowly kill himself. The question that naturally arises is how could a psychology professor, one who even deals with abnormal psychology, suffer from something like this? It just goes to show how psychological disorders affect all walks of life. Having an in depth understanding of psychopathology doesn’t immunize you from it. Is it now easily understood why he made such comments during lecture?

Why do I bring this up? It’s just what my brain came up with while wandering inside. I haven’t thought about this man in a long time. Although very sad, it never really affected me in any sort of deep traumatic way. I can’t even remember the man’s first name. So why did my brain bring this up? After letting my mind take me where it would, all the while still listening to more “Bleeding music”, I started to see how easily I could brood endlessly on the tragic ironic nature of this man’s death. The endless questions that have no answers. For instance, how could one of the top medical schools in the country’s faculty miss or ignore obvious signals of one of its own? Then I stopped myself.

What’s the point? There are no answers to be found, it is just one of life’s tragic events that has no logical reason. I find no harm in trying to forget this memory. Am I missing some greater meaning that needs to be gathered from this event? Perhaps, but is the time wasted trying to find an answer that is not even guaranteed worth it? For me the answer is no. I have kids to raise, a wife to take care of, and a house to run. Trying to find meaning in the chaotic nature of past events takes away precious resources needed elsewhere.

This goes for all those stalking memories waiting to surface from the depths of my mind during times of Blue Reflection. Memories that have no real purpose other then to haunt. Everyone has these memories, some more horrific then the next but still just as troublesome. Perhaps the measurement of one’s psychological health is how they navigate these Ego icebergs, but again that is an entire blog post in itself. Your past horrors belong in the past and deserve to be forgotten. I think this is as good a place as any to end.

Thanks for reading.

No?

Signs of a Super Dad: The super dad laughs in the face of snow, rain and freezing temperatures. With proper preparation, nature’s wrath is playtime.


Let me start off by saying the Pittsburgh Steelers have made it to the Super Bowl after beating the crap out of their hated rivals the Baltimore Ravens. To say the game was brutal is a gross understatement. I have never seen so many players who got knocked unconscious. People around this area are going nuts and it is awesome. I truly hope they win the Super Bowl. I will never forget in 2005 when people flooded the streets in single digit temperatures after the Steelers won the Super Bowl. We drove down the streets in a driving snow storm giving high fives to strangers. It was beautiful. So Steelers mania is my excuse for not posting lately, and not because I have been playing video games with my AWESOME new Christmas toys. Now to this week’s topic.

Do you have trouble saying no? I think many have an issue with telling friends, family and to a point even strangers no. I know I do sometimes. It is like you want to be nice because they are a friend or loved one, but in the long run you know deep inside you really should have just said no. It’s as if we worry too much about hurting another’s feelings. That by telling them no we risk harming or even ending the relationship, even though realistically that would never happen. Or even the complete stranger who asks for your help that clearly should be doing it themselves. You know they are just taking advantage of you but you do it anyways.

We stretch ourselves so thinly already, with kids, work, or school just to add further stress by agreeing to things that you clearly know is a bad idea. Some people even go as far as letting people walk all over them because they just cannot say no. Not to mention the down right evil things that occur because the inability to give a strong no! Do we fear that by saying no we are a bad person? Do we fear saying no because we do not want others to see us in a bad light?

Saying no doesn’t mean you’re selfish, callous, or evil. It’s the ability to know your limits. To know you only have so much to give and it is your responsibility to be able to set your priorities. If you spread yourself too thin you’re not only harming yourself but the others you wish to help. Being stressed out of your mind because you have too much on your plate doesn’t help anyone; it just reduces your effectiveness across the board. A person needs to be able to understand when enough is enough and not feel guilty about communicating that. This is pretty clear cut yet many of us still cannot say no. So the next question becomes why?

I think for a lot of people it’s the fear of confrontation. We rather keep our feelings bottled up inside instead of getting into an argument. We fear the uncomfortable feelings that confrontation brings. I believe this is a direct result of how our society has molded parenting techniques over the past couple of decades. Many of us are brought up in households that strive to teach us that anger is bad. That we should teach our kids not to say no and just agree with whatever we tell them. The parent is the boss and the kid needs to listen. That if the kids do not agree they will get into trouble. Being raised in such a fashion, it is no wonder many of us have problems with confrontation.

And yet, kids need to listen to their parents. Without guidelines or rules children cannot become functional adults. Kids need to know not to run into the street or pull that pan off the stove, no ifs, ands or buts. So how do we reach a happy medium? How do we teach our children to listen and yet be confidant enough to make a stand? To become an adult who can say no. Well first off, I have discussed previously my view of the importance of confidence and self-esteem, and they play a large part in being about to stand up for yourself. So that is a given. But, I think that isn’t everything. You can still have good self-esteem and fear confrontation.

I don’t really have a clear cut answer and that kind of makes me sad. I want to know the exact answer to pass onto my children and not merely speculate only finding out if you are correct at the end. But really if you think about it, isn’t it like that for everything your trying to teach them? Anyway, that is a whole post in itself. I haven’t decided how I am going to teach this to my kids. Perhaps some studying is in order. Any ideas from you readers would be helpful.

Thanks for reading.

Anarchy in the USA?

Signs of a super dad: A super dad dances with his kids every day.

Over the weekend my best friend showed up for a surprise visit. We went out to the local upscale bar. I had my water and he had an 8 dollar glass of Korsendonk(sp?) Winter Ale. (Eight dollars seems like a lot but according to my wife Korsendonk (sp?)Ale from Belgium is the best beer in the world.) Anyway, my buddy and I sat around for a couple of hours discussing a range of topics from making fun of a guy wearing pink pants to a deep philosophical discussion of the meaning of death. We don’t go out much but I always deeply enjoy it when we do.

I am bringing this up because over that night’s conversation my buddy said something extremely interesting. We were discussing how he enjoyed reading this blog and a question relating to an earlier post popped into my head. I asked him if anarchy was ever possible. His point of view is that humans want to be led. They will naturally gravitate towards some form of organized government. He came up with a simple example: Garbage collection. Think about it, how long would it take for riots to break out if garbage collection stopped across the nation? If no one did any organization to clean it up. What would happen if our garbage just started to pile up? How the burbs would go ballistic with piles of garbage laying around on their yards stinking up their houses? People would probably just start burning it; filling our cities and suburbs with black, toxic, choking smoke. Would you just bury it in the back yard? Well I don’t have a back yard. Let us not forget the diseases that would be spread if we wallowed in our own waste. It would take 6 months to a year before our country would choke to death on its own filth.

Of course this would never happen. We as a society would never let it. We would hire, appoint, and do whatever needs to be done so our garbage is taken away, but it does raise an interesting idea. How something we take for granted would destroy our civilization the moment it is gone. Roads? It’s pretty easy to see how things would shut down if we stopped taking care of roads. It would only take a winter or two before all the roads in the Northeast would be undrivable. Shipping would cease, commerce would end. Ever see the show Dirty Jobs on the Discovery channel? Just picture our society if people decided to stop doing some of those jobs. Its funny how many “little things” would bring down a civilization if they suddenly disappeared.

The things I have pointed out are easy to understand. What about the little things that aren’t so clear? Aren’t so easily seen? Twenty years ago few people believed or even knew what Global Warming was, but now it is a significant threat to our existence. Most people thought warmer temperatures were a good thing. Fifty years ago if you told someone our population would be in serious trouble because of being too fat they would have laughed in your face. Pretty pitiful eh? What seemly insignificant “thing” will we being worrying about 20 or 30 years from now? Something that now seems silly or stupid to worry about.

Things that seem just seem Science fiction. Cyborgs, for instance cyborgs. Robots that act and look human. Will we be seeing a significant population decline because of robot sex? That’s right, men and woman who don’t want to waste time on a real human and just buy their perceived perfect mate. Seems pretty silly, but is it? As virtual reality technology increase will we start seeing people forgo their real lives? Living instead inside a machine? What new disorders revolving around virtual reality will be born? It’s hard to say what the next threat to humanity is going to be. But, I am sure it will be something we didn’t see coming. I am just looking forward to chatting with my buddy over a 20 dollar beer about how they just outlawed robot sex.

Does it really mean that much to you?

Signs of a Super Dad: A super dad doesn’t drive like an idiot. He doesn’t drive at an unnecessary high rate of speed. He doesn’t tailgate. He doesn’t flash his high beams trying to get people out of the way. The super dad’s cargo is way too precious to be screwing around.

Before we begin let me warn you, this is going to be a little tirade I need to get off my chest. So if you don’t like whining stop reading now.

I play a lot of volleyball, about 3 times a week at 2 hours a pop. The reason I am bringing this up is because I need to rant about “that guy” (or girl. But, honestly I have never played with a woman who acted like this. I am sure they are out there but I just have never met one.) What “guy” you ask? The ultra competitive, win at all costs, jerk. The “guy” who plays like losing means one of his testicles is going to be torn off. The “guy” who openly cheats. And lastly, this “guy” is terrible. I mean god awful at whatever sport he is playing. This…drives…me…nuts! This ass ruins the game for everyone. Look, I am not saying there isn’t a time to be competitive. If we are playing in a league then yes, go right ahead and be a bit of a jag-off. I can understand that. But, when we are at the YMCA and playing with a bunch of old people don’t act like a jackass. Why must people behave like this?!

Everyone can be a little competitive, it is okay, but don’t start mocking people for playing poorly and play like this is the only thing you have in life. During the week, I play volleyball so I can get away from the house and kids. It is my 'me time'. I want to play, unwind, and chat with some of my buddies. I don’t want to listen to some idiot rant and rave. Not only does it annoy the hell out of me, it makes me play poorly, which in turn, makes me even angrier. Plus, this guy’s behavior is like an infection. It spreads to everyone playing and what you get is a bunch of adults acting like they are back in middle school. When a guy like this shows up all I want to do is smash a spike into his face knocking him unconscious. Instead of enjoying myself, I spend my time getting all worked up trying to shut this idiot up, which by the way, never happens. What does happen is I just get angry, not talk to anyone, and end up accidentally smashing a ball into some innocent woman’s face.

You know what else? This @#%$head is the reason people get seriously hurt. He is incredibly uncoordinated, 70lbs overweight, and throws his body around without any thought for others safety. I have torn my ankle to shreds because of being undercut at the net because of “This Guy!” I was out for a month! This happened TWICE! I have witnessed a man’s bone sticking out of his leg because some idiot just couldn’t tone it down.

Thankfully what normally happens is this guy pulls up lame after a horrible shot. Of course, he thinks that his ineptitude is directly related to an injury and not to total suckage. Then he announces his injury like we should be in awe. Is your self-esteem so pitifully low that you actually think that “pulling a hammy” makes you cool? Do you need this to supplement your life?

I am not saying don’t try, and I understand some people are very uncoordinated. I also think it is fantastic when someone is trying to get back into shape. What I am saying is don’t be a jerk. Look, if you're just naturally competitive person it’s fine to get fired up, but DO NOT mock people when they do poorly, coach people who don’t want it, and try to explain to people better then you how to play correctly. Keep your mouth shut unless it is something positive. The most enjoyment I get is playing with people who don’t care about the score. We are just hanging out, being supportive, and having fun. I also enjoy having intensely competitive league games. But you can’t mix the two. If you want to get all fired up join a league. Don’t come to a backyard game and play like it’s the Olympics.
/rant

Thanks for getting through that with me.

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays everyone! Too busy to post this week. I will leave you with a heart warming article.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373