You’re On The Greener Side of The Fence.

Signs of a Super Dad: A super dad will have his bad days, for he is only human, but it is what he does with those bad days that make him super.

A quick novel update. Last week I received an e-mail from a publishing company I had real hopes for. They did use my name and actual title of my book in their reply, but the reply was a no. I was pretty down about that. They are a small publishing company dealing with only books to my likely reading audience. It left me in a good funk for a couple of hours. I was able to pick myself up, but it has put a dent in my enthusiasm to keep querying. Just another wall I must crush through. Now to the topic of the week.

We have all heard the saying, “The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.” I want to slap the meaning of this quote with my own little warped philosophy. The lawn on my side of the fence is patchy brown, filled with dandelions, and toys pop up like tombstones in a forgotten graveyard. Across the fence, my neighbor’s lawn is a flawless shade of green, each blade of grass a copy of the next swaying in harmonious glory with each breath of wind. His lawn always hedged in perfect angles. His grass is greener. It will always be greener. So take your shoes off and hope over that fence. Feel the blades of grass under your naked feet? Is this perfection? Feel those feet burning? Feel the caustic chemicals keeping that unnatural green perfection melt through layers of your skin? Is this really perfection? Well, kids can play in MY yard.

The lesson of the above saying is simple but one of the greatest lessons in life is the actual implementation. Most of us live like we are trying to get some place, that we must strive to reach what you feel is a ‘perfect self’ so to say. How you reach this is different for each person. Some say becoming wealthy enough to always take care of your family, or reaching a social standard where you always have many friends, or living in Christ’s image, or achieving enlightenment, either way they are all a goal of your own version of what’s perfection. That you are not perfect compared to ‘something’ and that you must work to rectify it. I don’t like this. I feel as a society we are so driven for perfection that we don’t stop and fully enjoy what we already have.

I live in a 2 bedroom apartment with two kids. I spend most of my days in this small space. Since winter is coming, my children and I are lucky to get outside for an hour or two. The question naturally arises, “Aren’t you going nuts? Don’t you want to live in a house?” Yes, sometimes I do feel like I am going stir crazy. Living in a house would be nice, but I can’t dwell on it. I am using this example to point out: that I could be sitting here brooding over how cramped my family is, but I would be missing out on what is good about being cramped. How easily accessible everything is; how I can keep an eye on both kids sitting in one position. This isn’t just frivolous positive thinking. I just don’t want to live my life missing out on the ‘now’ thinking about what could be. We are always working towards something. Always trying to get that promotion, get that new car, get, get, get. What we don’t realize is once we do get ‘it’ then what? In a year of two my family will move into a new home. When that day comes, a whole bunch of new problems and issues will arise. Then the cycle will begin again. We will have more kids which is going to mean we need a bigger house, or maybe the house isn’t close enough to town. What’s the point with thinking like this?

There is something wrong with this frame of thought. I am not saying not to have goals or aspirations to improve one’s self. What I am saying is don’t be so tied up in what could be. If you’re always living in the future, or the past for that matter, you’re not living with what really matters, and that is what is going on now. I need to make a greater effort to think this way. Hopefully, I will live to a ripe old age and, as I lie on my death bed looking back on my life, I hope I feel like I lived a full life in the “now” instead of always wishing what could or might have been. That I didn’t miss out on what was going on waiting for what was coming up.

Thanks for reading.