Blue Reflection

Signs of a Super Dad: A super dad stays in shape. Not just to set an example to his children, but just to be able to keep up with them.


I have let my blog posts slide a little lately and I am disappointed with that. I chalk it up to a minor case of the post holiday blues. You have gotten all your presents, seen all your family, and now things are just back to normal. This year my post holiday blues were delayed till now due to the fact the fricken Pittsburgh Steelers won the Super Bowl. Just let me add it happened to be one of the most exciting games ever played! I am elated they won, but now what? Not only are the holidays over but football is over as well; I don’t know what is worse. It is easy to see how one could feel a little down after all the excitement has quieted. So, the Super Dad is a little blue. When the Super Dad is blue he likes to wander in his own delicious subconscious while listening to music. You get the esteemed pleasure of reading what I found.

BUT! Before I begin the tale of this juicy head trip let me share with you a very pleasant discovery. It has been years since discovering new music and not surprisingly it’s from a band originating from the 90’s: Portishead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PnNrtUTwa4

Video is a little creepy, but check them out.
I have a theory that an individual’s musical tastes are born in early high school. Perhaps I could blog about that in the future.

So while listening to the eclectic mess that is my music collection, I come to the realization that my musical tastes are difficult to explain. I have heard it described as suffocating, a big headache, angry, but by far the most interesting description is, “music you turn on that you want to bleed to”. Interesting as well as disturbing, but what is even more interesting is whom it originated from. This quote is from a professor who taught my Abnormal Psychology class in college. Odd? Yes. Surprising? Not after I share this story.

My Abnormal Psychology professor was easily the most entertaining teacher I have ever had. I only had him for half a semester for two classes, but he was thoroughly enjoyable. Notice I write “half” because he passed away midway through. He wasn’t an older gentleman, being barely middle aged. The man suffered from anorexia, which is extremely odd for men of that age group. It is believed complications from this condition are what killed him. Very sad, a man who was well liked by his students, who had reached one of the highest levels of professional achievement, could slowly kill himself. The question that naturally arises is how could a psychology professor, one who even deals with abnormal psychology, suffer from something like this? It just goes to show how psychological disorders affect all walks of life. Having an in depth understanding of psychopathology doesn’t immunize you from it. Is it now easily understood why he made such comments during lecture?

Why do I bring this up? It’s just what my brain came up with while wandering inside. I haven’t thought about this man in a long time. Although very sad, it never really affected me in any sort of deep traumatic way. I can’t even remember the man’s first name. So why did my brain bring this up? After letting my mind take me where it would, all the while still listening to more “Bleeding music”, I started to see how easily I could brood endlessly on the tragic ironic nature of this man’s death. The endless questions that have no answers. For instance, how could one of the top medical schools in the country’s faculty miss or ignore obvious signals of one of its own? Then I stopped myself.

What’s the point? There are no answers to be found, it is just one of life’s tragic events that has no logical reason. I find no harm in trying to forget this memory. Am I missing some greater meaning that needs to be gathered from this event? Perhaps, but is the time wasted trying to find an answer that is not even guaranteed worth it? For me the answer is no. I have kids to raise, a wife to take care of, and a house to run. Trying to find meaning in the chaotic nature of past events takes away precious resources needed elsewhere.

This goes for all those stalking memories waiting to surface from the depths of my mind during times of Blue Reflection. Memories that have no real purpose other then to haunt. Everyone has these memories, some more horrific then the next but still just as troublesome. Perhaps the measurement of one’s psychological health is how they navigate these Ego icebergs, but again that is an entire blog post in itself. Your past horrors belong in the past and deserve to be forgotten. I think this is as good a place as any to end.

Thanks for reading.